Don't worry - of course you can still check out your future Babies Momma's pictures from Slut-O-Ween 2009 (Pocahontas in Uggs . . . so hot!).
However, the unedited version is gone forever and all visual documentation of the triple kiss are untagged and deleted (. . . I know it hurts). Who can we blame for this inevitable destruction of Facebook stalking (those bastards)? Well It is your mom (wait I take it back).
Lets rewind to 2003, the Golden Years for Da-Book, think R-Kelly's "Ignition" (Remix). A time when only the elite ".edu" users had access to the sea of drunken sorority girl photos and your mom could not even turn on a computer. Facebook was the sober friend you never had (or you were too cool for) - providing you unlimited insight into your one-night stand love life (for better or worse). Oh you think Kappa Tiffany looked hot at the Luau party - here are 15 pics of her all over that D-bag from Fiji (sweet pink pastel shirt). What? You made-out with Kelly from Theta in the supply room - Here is a picture of her dry-humping your roommate 20 minutes earlier (and yes those are kankles). The Book only spoke the truth and you loved him for that . . . but it was too good to be true.
Back in 2010, keg stand profile pics are being replaced with sober head shots without a beer in hand (Yeah if took me 84 photos to find one as well). Drunken 80's Party albums are gone and the only 5 (somewhat) sober pictures from a Vegas trip are in its place (followed by a Mom photo comment). Your little cousin and high school principal are making friend requests and your wall is filled with cheesy jokes from step-parents and uncles . . . is no one else FREAKING OUT? What happened to the exclusive underground club for drunk college kids - NO SOBER PEOPLE OF ANY IMPORTANCE ALLOWED!!
I know we have to grow up but why does "the Book" have to as well (I NEED THIS) . . . deep breath. Okay Fine! But in 20 years when you are messaging with your old gym coach and posting on your son's wall about the consequences of missing his curfew (the 21 year old version of yourself would kick your a$$ if possible) don't forget the social movement Facebook was founded on.
The pioneer of (legal) one night stand stalking - Mom, please don't tweet about this.
